Effective parenting refers to carrying out the responsibilities of raising and relating to children in such a manner that the child is well prepared to realize his or her full potential as a human being. It is a style of raising children that increases the chances of a child becoming the most capable person and adult he or she can be.
The goal of parenting is to teach kids to develop self-discipline. Demonstrate the actions and values you want your children to embrace, including honesty, compassion, love, dedication, hard work and generosity. Surround your home and life with others who can serve as role models to your children. Whether these are family members or friends, keeping your kids around people who are a good influence will help you be a better parent.
Spend quality time with your children: Your children need your full attention on a regular basis.Remember to listen to your children. Better communication always leads to better parenting. If they are acting out or quieter than usual, take some time to talk to them about what is going on in their lives.
Treat your child with respect: “The best way to get respectful treatment from your child is to treat him respectfully,” Stein-berg writes. “You should give your child the same courtesies you would give to anyone else. Speak to him politely. Respect his opinion. Pay attention when he is speaking to you. Treat him kindly. Try to please him when you can. Children treat others the way their parents treat them. Your relationship with your child is the foundation for her relationships with others.”
See life from your child’s perspective: Parents have grand ideas and dreams for their children. They want their children to have high self-respect, self-worth, and self-esteem in short, to be successful and happy in their lives. Parents wonder how they can do this for their children. Where can they find a magic formula for their children’s happiness?
Encourage good behavior: Give your child plenty of reasons to comply with the expectations you place on him or her. Healthy, well-behaved children are those encouraged by adults to be well behaved, not those afraid of punishment. Giving lots of positive attention and positive comments about them and their behavior does this best. For every negative comment you make to the child, there should be positive ones made as well. It is also important to use reasoning and explanation when giving rules. Don’t rely on always saying because I said so, otherwise you are missing out on the opportunity to teach children how to think analytically and to make good choices
Praise good behavior: Your praise and encouragement have a tremendous impact on your child. “Praise” messages are not all verbal, either. An OK hand signal, a wink, a smile, and a hug all these speak volumes to a child who has just done something right. These positive messages reinforce a child’s goodness, and encourage more of the same positive behavior.
Teach them to be independent: Teaching our children to pick out their clothing, dress themselves as they grow older, tie their own shoes, pack school snacks, make lunches the night before, set their own alarm clocks instead of waking them up, and having children put away their books and organizing themselves.
Tips on parenting
• Agree on what behavior is desirable and not desirable.
• Agree on how to respond to undesirable behavior.
• Be consistent, that is, reward or punish the same behavior in the same manner as much as possible.
• Both of you should have an equal share in the responsibility of discipline as much as possible
• Be firm
• Be Fair
• Be friendly
• If one of you is disciplining a child and the other enters the room, that other person should not step in on the argument in progress.
• Look for gradual changes in behavior. Don’t expect too much. Praise behavior that is coming closer to the desired goal.
• Make it as clear as possible what the child is to expect if he or she performs the undesirable behavior.
• Make it very clear what the undesirable behavior is. It is not enough to say, “Your room is messy.” Messy should be specified in terms of exactly what is meant: “You’ve left dirty clothes on the floor, dirty plates on your desk, and your bed is not made.”
• Never disagree about discipline in front of the children.
• Never give an order, request, or command without being able to enforce it at the time.
• Once you have stated your position and the child attacks that position, do not keep defending yourself. Just restate the position once more and then stop responding to the attacks.
• Remember that your behavior serves as a model for your children’s behavior.
• Reward desirable behavior as much as possible by verbal praise, touch or something tangible such as a toy, food or money.
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